With Gino on his way to Rio for a movie screening we got to talking about the giant, 130 foot tall Christ the Redeemer statue that overlooks the city of Rio.

To those of us on the Morning ‘KLH it’s only the 2nd most famous statue of Jesus. Heywood Banks’ song, “Big Butter Jesus” vaulted the Ohio statue to the top of our charts. Unfortunately, it was struck by lightning and burned down last year.  The good news is that by the end of the year a new, 51 foot tall statue of Jesus will have been constructed for all to see right off of I-75 outside of Cincinnati, Ohio.

Download “Big Butter Jesus”

Heywood’s song is one of the greatest ear worms of all time. So is Pat McCurdy’s song, “Monkey Paw.”

Download “Monkey Paw”

And thanks to Jimmy Kimmel for unearthing what may be the new gold standard in ear worms. They’ve sold over 20 million albums worldwide, they took Europe by storm in the 80’s and 90’s and odds are you have never heard of them. The Kelly Family and here’s the song I guarantee will haunt you forever…I apologize in advance : )

At ‘KLH we’ve been rocking the wicked jams for a quarter century and still some of you don’t understand what the power of Classic Rock can do. ****Warning****Not for faint of heart****

Here’s an example of what it looks when you decide to ‘KLH IRRESPONSIBLY 

You now know why we urge you to ‘KLH responsibly

Hopefully, you’ve learned your lesson. We don’t want to have to send you away to teach you how to be sensible, logical, responsible, practical…(thanks to Supertramp for that last line)

The last month has been crazy here at ‘KLH. When it starts getting just a little bit warmer the concert announcement season really heats up.

And while you have a lot of great shows to see, we’re hosting one on April 9^th and you need to be there! “Comedy-Palooza” is coming to the Pabst Theater and the proceeds go to Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin. 

We used to call this event “Comedy for Kids” until a couple of people showed up with their little ones expecting to see a comedy show for children. Hey, I never said I was good at this marketing thing. So, what will you get for your money?

Two of America’s top comics; Justin Schlegel & Jeff Cesario.

Improvisational comedy from Milwaukee’s legendary ComedySportz

You’ll get to see the winners of our ‘Y’ factor contest perform live

Carole and I will be hosting and you’ll get to see some of the Morning ‘KLH cast up close and personal. The best part is that the proceeds go to Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin.

We’ll see you at the Pabst Theater at 8 p.m. on April 9^th for “Comedy-Palooza.“

I guarantee you’ll leave feeling that it was money well spent.

http://www.pabsttheater.org/show/comedypalooza

When we first started our little radio show it was actually rare to get feedback from listeners. It was a real hassle to sit down and write a letter, not to mention address the envelope, get a stamp and mail it off. How things have changed. Between e-mails, texts, facebook, tweets and phone calls, we hear from literally thousands of you every week. And all that feedback is more than welcome. One thing we’ve found, though, is that every listener hears things differently.

Today, I thought I would share with you ACTUAL e-mails and texts that we have received over the past week.

The first 2 will illustrate just how different the listening experience is for each person.

After a recent on-air segment where we discussed Gov. Walker’s Budget Repair Bill we received a ton of feedback. Ironically, these 2 e-mails arrived and were sitting in our Inbox back to back:

• “I’ve been a listener since you guys went on the air. I hope you can tell big mouth Kevin to tone it down and knock off the right wing political crap. Might as well tell Dave and Carole too. Let me know if you do cause I won’t be listening anymore until they decide to be a little balanced.”

….this was sent LITERALLY one minute after this one…

•  “To the Liberal Freaks on the ‘KLH Morning Show, You need to start listening to Charlie Sykes and Mark Belling because there is another side to this story and you are going out of your way to avoid presenting it to the listening audience. Shows like yours are what Rush Limbaugh refers to as the drive-by media!”

 

 And people get upset by the strangest things. For example;

• “I watch “The Celebrity Apprentice” and I know millions of others do, too. So, how can Carole claim no one is watching??” (Carole’s only remark was that SHE wasn’t watching it)

• “Dave keeps saying that Summerfest opens on (Thursday) June 29th which is really Wednesday. Doesn’t Summerfest open on June 30th that is the Thursday date? Simple mistake.” (Summerfest is closed on the 4th of July this year…hence the new schedule…it opens on Wednesday the 29th)

• “I love your show.  I’ve been listening for the last 20 years.  Can you PLEASE just stop talking about Brett Favre if you claim you don’t like to do so?  Everyone else has either stopped bringing him up, or at least when they talk about him they’re up front about wanting to talk about him - there’s none of this 30 second clock nonsense that rings absolutely phony every time you do it.  This is seriously the only grating thing about your show that makes me want to switch the station, especially whenever Wilde comes on, because I know you’ll bring him up “even though you don’t want to”.  That being the case, I love everything else about your show - thanks for listening.”   (This morning we brought up his name for the first time in 5 weeks…and only because of the rumor that Carolina might be his next stop)

• “Said it before I’ll say it again. Limit Charlie Sheen stories to 30 seconds or less!” (At least HE likes the :30 seconds or less idea : )

• Why do you always play two McDonald’s commercials back to back? Is that your favorite place to eat breakfast or something? (I just play the commercials they tell me to play and if I had time to go have breakfast in the morning I’d probably go to McDonald’s)

• “Dave, As I was driving to work I actually heard you say, “He sparkles….” when Carole mentioned TWILIGHT. I am proud of you! Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob? Your answer is safe with me.”    (I’m on Team Dave…half man, half Liger)

•  “ Dave & Carole! Today, on my way to work, I heard the commercial telling young people to contact you! I’m contacting you! Well, I guess I’m not too young. I’m 28, but still. I remembering listening to you two when I was little, with my mom, while she was driving me to school back in the day. I just started listening to you guys again about a year ago and I LOVE you!! I love you guys and you’re the best morning show in the city…BY FAR!! I’m probably going to have to meet you guys sometime and get my picture taken with you. It will be fun, I promise. :) Ok, that’s all! Thanks for being the best part of my morning. Well, I guess it’s a tie between you guys and my coffee as being the best part of my morning… but, you get it. Jen”    (Thank You Jen! Keep listening and tell your friends to listen. We need all the help we can get ;~)

Three wars, earthquakes, tsunamis, collective bargaining, March Madness, Charlie Sheen; these days, there’s no shortage of material for a radio show. But we can’t get to it all. Here’s a few leftover topics (with video enhancements) from today’s show:

Here’s what happens when you can’t get it “your way” at Burger King 

“Mr. President, there’s a key hidden under the front mat”

The amazing precision of a French SWAT team captured here 

Finally, back in 2006, Zach Galifianakis takes his stand up to pre-school

I can’t keep up with it all. Way too many e-mails, Facebook posts, e-mails, blogs and tweets. No wonder I almost never answer the phone. Who has time?

Plus, I HATE talking on the phone. Always have. Now I find out that I’m not the only one. The New York Times just published a column about it. Texting will soon overtake talking as the primary way people communicate when using their smart phones. And with the popularity of Twitter (Charlie Sheen has 3 million followers)  fewer people are using e-mail.

You know what else I am using less of? My laptop. Since I got an IPad last year I rarely power up the laptop anymore. So in the last 5 years I went from PC to IMac to Macbook to IPad. My cell phone became a Droid and I am now all too familiar with apps like Angry Birds and Infinity Blade. Hey, I didn’t say I was using all my time wisely.

So, what kind of technology is next? Well, according to my Popular Science app, “Michigan researchers have built a prototype of a new auto motor that does away with pistons, crankshafts and valves, replacing the old internal combustion engine with a disc-shaped shock wave generator. It could slash the weight of hybrid cars and reduce auto emissions by 90 percent.” And how about this one; “rather than bringing people into the lab, researchers at MIT are putting tiny labs into people via a tiny implantable capsule that can track the growth of a tumor or detect heart-deterioration or even silent heart attacks from inside the body.”

See, not all this technology stuff is useless. Now, back to Angry Birds.

Remember how much heat Groupon.com took for their Super Bowl ads? If they took heat, imagine what would happen if any of these old ads showed up today?!

I have found myself recently saying lots of things I never thought I’d say. I decided to write some of them down.

Things I NEVER thought I’d say:

*Wow, look at that…gas in ONLY 3.39 a gallon at that station!

*I can’t believe the WWE stooped so low as to hire Snooki for an appearance; they’re better than that.

*I hope my wife doesn’t listen to ‘KLH this week. Because if she hears Carole went on a domestic strike simply because Lew didn’t offer a dinner suggestion…well, I’ve got no chance.

*I can’t believe how quickly the euphoria died after XLV. I guess budget cuts and non- stop protests will do that to a state.

*I wish there weren’t so many great concerts/shows this summer. I just don’t have enough time or money.

*I wish I had an anger management problem. Maybe then I would have snatched all those snacks that lady sitting one seat away from me brought into the movie theater over the weekend. They were all in paper bags and she crinkled paper throughout the movie.

*I can’t wait for boating season to begin. No, I don’t have a boat, I just like to sit and watch couples argue as they try to get their boats in the water.

*Celebrity Apprentice is on my DVR list. Gary Busey and LaToya Jackson? I’m all in…

*I honestly think the Brewers will be in the World Series this year

*I am now convinced my dogs jump up on the couch and hit the remote on purpose. It always happens when I’m totally into a show…

And finally, I never thought I’d say…Okay, who forgot to flush the toilet in the men’s room at work?

The Wall Street Journal recently ran a story about state governments trying all sorts of stuff in order to help balance their budgets. Some states are even considering web gambling. Many states are trying to figure out how they can get some of the cash that is currently going to offshore Internet gaming sites. The tricky part is writing laws that somehow circumvent all the federal laws already on the books that ban Internet wagering.

So we’ve got offshore Internet sites siphoning money away, Nigerian scammers duping naïve Americans out of cash, and recently a story out of Naperville, Illinois where a 48 year old man lost $200,000.00 by wiring cash to his online “girlfriend.” He wired the cash over a period of 2 ½ years and to various locations around the globe and was shocked when police told him he had been scammed. He initially called police because the scammers pushed him a bit too far by pulling the “I’m trapped in London” scam on him. That’s where someone you allegedly know writes you and tells you they are stranded in London and have lost everything and they can’t pay their hotel bill. If you would just wire them some money they would gladly pay you back when they finally make it home.

Now, I’m not suggesting we do anything illegal but this budget crisis has me wondering. Are we, as a state, doing all we can to generate revenue? I mean, have we even considered moving our money into a high yield passbook savings account? Okay, maybe we need to be more creative. A bit more desperate. For example, why don’t we do our own state lottery and the prizes are things you can’t buy? One week the winner gets to stand on the field at Lambeau for a Packer game and the next week the winner gets to go drinking with Tommy Thompson.

Why don’t we sell ad space like NASCAR does? Maybe Governor Walker and our Senators (when they come to work) should be forced to wear advertising patches on their suits and dresses? And, just like NASCAR, an aid could continually slap a new sponsor hat on the Governor as he stands at the podium and addresses the media. The ‘KLH County Courthouse, “Tostito’s” Taycheedah House of Correction, The Coors Light Lighthouse…the possibilities are endless.

Did we even think about renting futons to the protestors? What about concession stands in the rotunda? How about a state sponsored rummage sale? What if our elected officials were required to sell plasma? All of a sudden someone with AB Negative blood looks a lot more electable.

How about installing a toll booth on the Illinois/Wisconsin border? Only Illinois drivers would be charged and if they have a Bears or Cubs sticker anywhere on their car, we charge ‘em double. Maybe our tourism bureau could produce a new TV show called ‘Real Housewives of Crivitz’ available only through pay per view? Speaking of TV shows, maybe we could call Ty Pennington and have him stop by and totally refurbish one of our dilapidated schools. Bus driver, move that bus!

And if all that fails, how does this sound; Dear ___________, I need you to wire me some money. I’ve lost my passport, credit cards and I’m out of cash and I’m trapped here in Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada. Too soon?

We may have just crossed over into bizarro world. Want some proof? Here are some of the headlines from The Drudge Report: Fox News reporter gets hit at protest rally in Madison, Camille Grammer hired as CNN correspondent, Wolf Girl is Popular at School and New York Hookers are Flocking to Facebook.

And, this morning Charlie Sheen appeared on both The Today Show and Good Morning America to present his side of the story.  He told The Today Show that he wants a raise from 2 million dollars A WEEK to 3 million dollars A WEEK if he returns to do his TV show. Said he’s underpaid.

He also stated that he is tired of pretending that he’s not special. He said that he’s so special that “normal brains” can’t process what a rock star he truly is.

We are lucky to have just a little piece of him in our lives. The great and powerful Sheen has spoken and that alone is special.

You want the definition of a career defined as special? Scary Movie, Hot Shots, Due Date, Red Dawn and Major League 2 are all on Charlie Sheen’s resume.

As a Dad, can anything be more special than to be staying across the hall from your 5 & 6 year old girls when you get so drunk and high you trash your hotel room with an escort hiding in a bathroom? Ah, memories that will last a lifetime. And how about all those people who worked on Two and a Half Men? Yep, ruining their careers is the kind of move only someone special can make.

I have now added Charlie Sheen’s name to my list of people who need to stop acting like they’re not special. Feel free to add to the list, but so far I have; Mel Gibson, Whitney Houston, Lindsay Lohan, Andy Dick, Heidi & Spencer, Kate Gosselin and the entire Kardashian family. And let’s not forget that Paula Abdul once claimed that she’s a “gift”. And re-gifting is not an option.