From Carole Caine…
It’s the day after another high school graduation and I have come to the realization that I am going to make a TERRIBLE empty nester. I know it in my gut. You see, I have a terrible dependency on people. I like having people around. I like talking to them….even if they don’t talk back.
I don’t want you to think that my teenage son was a great conversationalist but it was nice to know that someone else was in the house…a warm body, if you will.
So as I reflect on the soon to be empty nest that I will be in charge of, I wanted to pass on some of the reasons why this is going to be a tough transition;
1. I already anticipate that the phone will be my new best friend. Telemarketers beware because you are going to get WAY more than you bargained for when you call my house.
2. I love planning meals and cooking for people. Lew eats salads and omelets. I’m not kidding a lifetime of salads and omelets…ick! Do not be surprised if you see me standing on a corner handing out free samples of something. Can you say “Welcome to Sam’s Club?”
3. I can only watch so much TV and I can’t read a book without falling asleep.(really)
4. There’s not enough booze in the world.
5. I don’t like to shop. I’m a guy when it comes to shopping…I buy; I don’t shop.
6. I can only take so many walks. It’s not that I don’t enjoy them; it’s just that I get tired of being a Maypole with the dogs.
7. Speaking of dogs…why do they have to be so needy? Feed me, play with me …I mean come on.
8. I don’t like my husband’s company THAT much.
9. Did I say that there’s not enough booze in the world?
10. I will miss the kids and the activity.
So I will take this summer and appreciate my kids and my family, because at the end of August it all comes to an end and I will collapse into a puddle of tears and wildly fluctuating emotions. Everyone says that its’ going to be O.K. I’m not so sure.
From Dave Luczak…
Well, Carole, I AM sure. You will slowly grow to love it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my kids and I LOVE when they come and visit. But I have to admit that the transition has been smoother, and more fun, than either of us ever thought it would be. It happens in stages. It starts with that first day of kindergarten when parents everywhere peek out the window at their little one and watch them standing there waiting for the bus. And when they go to college it can be tough, but they usually come home several times a year, including all summer. You’re never really an empty nester until they all have a job with benefits and a place of their own.
When our youngest started her new job and got her new apartment a year ago we were finally alone. After 28 years of raising kids the nest was truly empty. We started a family when we were really young and our lives were always intertwined with our kids’ lives. When they are all on their own it hits you hard; YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. So I did what only I would think to do. I walked into the living room buck naked to watch TV. Why? Not because it was a pretty sight, because I could. Cindy failed to see this gesture as a positive symbol of my new found freedom and promptly told me to put some clothes on.
Carole, the options are limitless. Take a nap, a weekend getaway, host a party, learn a new language, join a health club, stalk people on Facebook, go to dinner with Lew, meet him for lunch, or have him come home for lunch. Around Noon, I’d say…wink, wink…nudge…nudge…Hell, have your dinner at Noon…or at Midnight…no one else cares.
It’s back to just the 2 of you and the freedom is incredible. And, Carole, I see where you mentioned how much you love talking to people and you also mentioned booze. Since no one else is home you can go to the local tavern and kill 2 birds. The reality is that it’s always hard to let go. But after the tears and a few rough patches, it’s all good. In fact, it’s better than good.
And if you just can’t adjust there’s an organization that Time magazine recently wrote about that helps moms who can’t get over it. It’s called Empty Nest Support Services and its run by a woman who says she had a really rough time being an empty nester. Her name is Natalie Caine. True story, her last name is Caine. On 2nd thought…