From Carole Caine…

It’s the day after another high school graduation and I have come to the realization that I am going to make a TERRIBLE  empty nester.  I know it in my gut.  You see, I have a terrible dependency on people.  I like having people around.  I like talking to them….even if they don’t talk back.

I don’t want you to think that my  teenage son was a great conversationalist but it was nice to know that someone else was in the house…a warm body, if you will.

So as I reflect on the soon to be empty nest that I will be in charge of, I wanted to pass on some of the reasons why this is going to be a tough transition;

1.        I already anticipate that the phone will be my new best friend.  Telemarketers beware because you are going to get WAY more than you bargained for when you call my house.

2.        I love planning meals and cooking for people.  Lew eats salads and omelets.   I’m not kidding a lifetime of salads and omelets…ick! Do not be surprised if you see me standing on a corner handing out free samples of something. Can you say “Welcome to Sam’s Club?”

3.       I can only watch so much TV and I can’t read a book without falling asleep.(really)

4.       There’s not enough booze in the world.

5.       I don’t like to shop. I’m a guy when it comes to shopping…I buy; I don’t shop.

6.       I can only take so many walks.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy them; it’s just that I get tired of being a Maypole with the dogs.

7.       Speaking of dogs…why do they have to be so needy?  Feed me, play with me …I mean come on.

8.       I don’t like my husband’s company THAT much.

9.       Did I say that there’s not enough booze in the world?

10.     I will miss the kids and the activity.

So I will take this summer and appreciate my kids and my family, because at the end of August it all comes to an end and I will collapse into a puddle of tears and wildly fluctuating emotions.  Everyone says that its’ going to be O.K. I’m not so sure.

From Dave Luczak…

Well, Carole, I AM sure. You will slowly grow to love it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my kids and I LOVE when they come and visit. But I have to admit that the transition has been smoother, and more fun, than either of us ever thought it would be. It happens in stages. It starts with that first day of kindergarten when parents everywhere peek out the window at their little one and watch them standing there waiting for the bus. And when they go to college it can be tough, but they usually come home several times a year, including all summer. You’re never really an empty nester until they all have a job with benefits and a place of their own.

When our youngest started her new job and got her new apartment a year ago we were finally alone. After 28 years of raising kids the nest was truly empty. We started a family when we were really young and our lives were always intertwined with our kids’ lives. When they are all on their own it hits you hard; YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. So I did what only I would think to do. I walked into the living room buck naked to watch TV. Why? Not because it was a pretty sight, because I could. Cindy failed to see this gesture as a positive symbol of my new found freedom and promptly told me to put some clothes on.

Carole, the options are limitless. Take a nap, a weekend getaway, host a party, learn a new language, join a health club, stalk people on Facebook, go to dinner with Lew, meet him for lunch, or have him come home for lunch. Around Noon, I’d say…wink, wink…nudge…nudge…Hell, have your dinner at Noon…or at Midnight…no one else cares.

It’s back to just the 2 of you and the freedom is incredible. And, Carole, I see where you mentioned how much you love talking to people and you also mentioned booze. Since no one else is home you can go to the local tavern and kill 2 birds. The reality is that it’s always hard to let go. But after the tears and a few rough patches, it’s all good. In fact, it’s better than good.

And if you just can’t adjust there’s an organization that Time magazine recently wrote about that helps moms who can’t get over it. It’s called Empty Nest Support Services and its run by a woman who says she had a really rough time being an empty nester. Her name is Natalie Caine. True story, her last name is Caine. On 2^nd thought…

There are so many great things about being a Dad it’s hard to even list the top 10. But I will say that I have always enjoyed trying to embarrass my beautiful children.

Don’t ask me why I find this so amusing but I do. I remember shuttling kids to/from the 8^th grade dance while blasting Britney Spears on my stereo.

About 7 or 8 years ago we were in New York doing a week’s worth of shows from Comedy Central and late one morning I was strolling through Times Square when I saw a huge truck filled with gear pull up outside the MTV studios. I asked what was going on and they told me Lil’ Jon and the East Side Boys were performing that day on TRL Live. So and I asked if I could come and stand in front of the stage because I was such a huge Lil’ Jon fan. I think he knew I was lying but he told me to be back at 2 p.m. and he’d slide me in. That’s when I thought he was lying but he wasn’t.

Imagine how surprised my own children were when I called each one of them individually (2 were in college and 1 in high school) and told them to turn on TRL on MTV. When they did there I was swaying to Lil’ Jon (to the window to the wall). It was a laugh out loud moment.

Maybe now you’ll know why I love this story so much…

I have no idea why but this sort of stuff happens to me all the time.

The Good Lord always seems to put me in a position to help others. And the funniest part is that I have never viewed myself as ‘easily approachable.’ Far from it.  Apparently, though, I am…approachable. If you’re a gang banger and you need money just target the 11 year old me and mug me at a baseball game. You’ll only get a few dollars, but just follow me to the boy’s room and whip out a knife. I won’t even scream. Hey, I didn’t say I always helped willingly, just that I helped. Like the time, over 20 years ago, when I asked my neighbor to come over and take a look at my vinyl siding because I was thinking of painting it.  I was new to the neighborhood and as we got to the back of my house he told me he need MY advice and he broke down and began to cry telling me that his wife was cheating on him. I never did get any help with that siding. Back in the 90’s Cindy, the kids and I were driving on Pilgrim Road and came across a mini-van that had been in a horrible accident and was literally upside down. EMT’s had not yet arrived so three other drivers and I had to lift it off the ground while Cindy helped free a little girl that was being crushed. Oh yeah, this was just 10 weeks after I had back surgery but what was I supposed to do? “Sorry, can’t help….back’s a little temperamental today. “ Then there was the dog that literally ran up to me out of nowhere as I was cutting the grass. Tail wagging, looking happy, with no identification whatsoever. After talking my kids out of just keeping him we returned him to the Humane Society where his grateful owner picked him up an hour later.

This is just a small sample of my Forrest Gump life. So it won’t surprise you when I tell you what happened at my house Monday evening. Our Memorial Day family cookout was winding down when the doorbell rang. An older woman, smoking a cigarette, was standing there looking very confused. She proceeded to tell us that she had gone grocery shopping and had gotten lost. She saw cars in my driveway and thought she should stop and ask for help. She then told me, at the urging of her daughter who lives in the area, she moved here just a couple of weeks ago and the only thing she knew was the name of her street. Or so she thought. I punched her street name (she didn’t know the exact address) into my GPS and told her to follow me. What should have taken only 10 minutes ended up taking hours.

See, when we got to the street she thought she lived on, nothing looked familiar. We drove around for awhile and every few blocks I stopped, got out, and asked her if she recognized anything. The answer was no. Imagine my family’s surprise as I pulled back in the driveway about 45 minutes later with my new friend following close behind. I won’t get into all the details but I will say she was a really nice lady and over the course of the next hour Cindy & I got to know her really well. Since she had no cell phone with her and didn’t know her daughter’s phone number I was left with only one option. I called the fine folks at the Waukesha County Sheriff’s office and they sent a couple of squads over to help her find her way home. I can only hope she did.

And for all of us baby-boomers there is a lesson to be learned. Do not assume that your folks are as sharp as they’ve always been. Watching parents decline is hard to do but do not look away. And never forget that sometimes they know just enough to fool you. Maybe my new friend was just a bit confused. But she did tell me that in the last 4 days she had gotten lost so often that she’s wasted a tank and a half of gas. I’d say that’s a sign.

A friend of mine was lamenting recently that the Green Bay Packers winning the Super Bowl should have united the entire state for at least 6 months. He was shocked by how quickly the euphoria faded. It’s been such a volatile, eventful year that the streamers littering the field in Dallas, Texas seems like a distant memory. Since that joyous day when the Lombardi trophy was awarded, Wisconsin has become a state divided. Budget repair, recalls, recounts, petitions, protests are all words that have become part of our everyday vernacular. And even the most beloved football team in America couldn’t help us forget just how nasty things have been for those of us who live behind the cheddar curtain.So, if the Packers can’t unite us, who can? The answer can be found in Isaiah 11:6 (and I will readily admit I had to look that up : ) “and a little child shall lead them.”

Coming up Thursday, May 26th and Friday, May 27th it’s the 14th annual Miracle Marathon for Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin. If there’s one thing I know about the people of this fine state, it’s that we take care of those in need. Especially our kids. Each and every year, for over 25 years, I watched in awe as hundreds of volunteers united to make the ‘KLH Christmas is for Kids party happen. Wisconsin ranks among the top states in the USA for volunteering. It’s just this simple; we know when it’s time to step up and make a difference. I’ve seen it time and time again. When an elderly neighbor needs help shoveling out after a storm, we help. It’s simply a matter of humanity. We have an innate ability to know when it’s time to step up.

This is that time. When it comes to our kids, it doesn’t matter if you’re a member of a Union or a Tea Party. Politics, race, color, creed, country of origin; none of that matters to a sick child. “And a little child shall lead them.” Those little children are what the Miracle Marathon is all about. It’s about understanding that, despite everything that’s going on around us, you have been given a tangible, legitimate, and meaningful opportunity to affect the future of a sweet, innocent child. Looking for something to bring us all together? How about the innocence, purity and unconditional love of a child?

On May 26th and May27th, as you listen to the Miracle Marathon on WKLH, keep this in mind: “There but for the grace of God (go I).”

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Last weekend I spent almost an entire day with Angry Birds.Nope, not talking about the game that’s on my IPad. Real birds fighting over seed in one of my new feeders in the back yard. Friday afternoon as I was driving home from the radio ranch I made a conscious decision to completely disconnect from the “connected” world of Facebook, bookmarks and apps. I needed to “unplug” for a while. And it was awesome.

I can’t believe how much I accomplished. Several landscaping projects were checked off the list I shopped for and cooked a full meal for the entire family for Mother’s Day. If there was a downside to my ‘Amish’ weekend, it was that I set the bar way too high for myself. No wonder those fine folks get so much accomplished. I could probably build a barn in a day, too, if I didn’t have social media sites to peruse, e mails to respond to, and cool games to play.

This weekend I plan to watch lots of TV, download a new HD racing game, drink beer and waste as much time as possible. My homeowner’s association would never allow a barn raising.

*Why panic? So the Brewers are struggling in the early going, so what? “It’s still early” is a legitimate statement to make when it comes to the long baseball season. On June 30^th 2010, the San Francisco Giants were barely above .500 and in 4^th place in a 5 team division. They, of course, would win it all.

*Not that they need my help, but why didn’t Apple use this as a marketing tool? When the IPad2 arrived they could have billed it as the arrival of something we were all told would happen. As kids, every baby boomer was told that someday we would all be talking to one another over video phones. And that’s exactly what we use the IPad2 for in our home. It’s awesome to talk face-to- face with our kids and relatives who live all over. And they don’t even own an IPad. They just use their IPhones. Next up, jet packs…

*Now that Bin Laden’s dead and his wives are left husband-less, why didn’t SNL use this idea for a comedy sketch? Sister Wives: Pakistan…what happens to all those wives when the world’s most dangerous terrorist is finally killed? “Tune in tonight as the Mrs. go shopping and teach the kids how to make a soccer ball out of yarn and old fuses.”

*Speaking of Bin Laden, how pathetic did he look in those videos they released this past weekend? Why was he so concerned about flipping from channel to channel just to see himself in action? Maybe he just wanted to make sure his dyed-black hair looked good on camera?

*And you know that not everything on his seized computers contained sensitive, terrorist related material. Everyone has stuff chewing up hard-drive space that could/should have been deleted long ago. Why not let us know if he had Turbo Grannies, Fruit Ninja or Frisbee Forever on his laptop? The thought of him holed up in a room playing Angry Birds Rio with one of his wives while portraying himself as this rogue, fearless warrior is enlightening, to say the least.

*Final question, and it’s a gross one so I’m apologizing in advance. How does one get crap shrapnel (crap-nel?) on a bathroom wall? And why not clean it up? And why did it happen in the building where I work? In the only unisex bathroom in the whole building??!! Which makes it tough to figure out who did it. And why do I even want to know who’s responsible? Sorry, but I had to ask.

Back in the 80’s I was standing in line at a downtown bank when the guy who was waiting in line right in front of me marched up to the next open window and held the place up. I had no idea what was happening until the teller began screaming and the guy took off like a shot. About an hour later when the FBI was questioning me they asked if I had any inkling of what was about to occur. That’s when I told them that at various times in my life I have forgotten to notice my wife’s new dress, the flowers she planted around the house, even the time she moved a desk to an entirely different room. The agent shook his head knowingly and moved on to question someone else. So, I can totally relate to Sohaib Athar.

He’s the guy who lives in Abbottabad and tweeted yesterday, “Helicopter hovering above Abbottabad at 1AM (is a rare event).” Also: “Since Taliban (probably) don’t have helicopters, and since they’re saying it was not “ours,” so must be a complicated situation.” He continued updating his Twitter feed, eventually posting, “A huge window shaking bang here in Abbottabad Cantt. I hope its not the start of something nasty :-S.” After he learned bin Laden had been killed, he wrote, “Uh oh, now I’m the guy who liveblogged the Osama raid without knowing it.”

The moral of the story? Twitter may end up proving to be the greatest breaking news source ever. Unless that breaking news is happening in front of a dude.

He likes us, he really, really likes us.

Look, I am 52 years old and I have never purchased the jersey of any professional baseball player. It’s not that I don’t love the game because I do. I just never felt an urge to go and spend my cash on something that seems so frivolous. How much cash was wasted on those C.C. Sabathia jerseys back in 2008?

But I am now the proud owner of a new Ryan Braun jersey. And I am also 1 of 150,000 who LIKE him on facebook. It’s just my small way of thanking him for recognizing what we all know. We live in a pretty cool city in an even cooler state. And between the dark gray skies, chilly temps, nasty politics, protests and construction tie-ups; it’s been a looooong winter and first month of spring.

Then Ryan Braun grabs the national spotlight to say he loves it here. He wants to call Milwaukee, Wisconsin his baseball home for at least another DECADE. He tells everyone he LOVES being a MILWAUKEE Brewer and loves the fans in Milwaukee, too. The Brewers have now locked up Weeks, Gallardo, Hart and Braun. And while those other guys are important, it’s not a stretch to say Braun is putting up Hall of Fame type numbers. His signing sends an incredibly positive message to the other players in MLB. It’s the same kind of vibe the Packers generated to the NFL when they signed the late, great Reggie White.

So THANK YOU Ryan, and thanks also to Mark Attanasio and Doug Melvin. And can someone send the following video link to Prince Fielder? I wouldn’t mind buying his jersey, too.                                  http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=14020357

It’s almost the weekend & you’re tired of work. I’m here to help with some video links that will make you smile. Ten wasted minutes closer to the Weekend ‘KLH…

With the Royal Wedding just a week away….

This spoof video was produced by T-Mobile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kav0FEhtLug

Elementary school kids in a small Australian town called Bondi got a visit from a baby Tyrannosaurus Rex. The six-and-a-half-foot tall T-Rex was a promotion for the show “Walking with Dinosaurs.” “So what do you do for a living?” “I traumatize little children.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7a3mKhOgTY

Here’s a guy tickling his penguin. Seriously.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4K3MXY5ITxQ

“Kids React” is a series that features kids giving their honest feedback

Here the kids react to Charlie Sheen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8a586ijjBQ

I guarantee you will laugh at this one

http://www.ndtv.com/article/world/catch-baby-laughs-hysterically-as-dog-pops-bubbles-100593

It was the summer of 2002 when we spotted him in a pet store in a place the locals call ‘Michiana.’

It’s part Michigan, part Indiana and it’s all about Notre Dame. My son Dan was still in high school and was playing in a showcase event at Notre Dame’s baseball field. Because of our weekend in ‘Michiana,’ Dan would get a baseball scholarship to the University of South Carolina and we would take home a puppy. As a Father of 2 boys and a girl, all 2 years apart, you would have guessed that I could have seen the setup. Maybe I would have recognized the signs, but I didn’t. About a week before the baseball weekend the kids told me that Jackson, our then 4 year old dog, was lonely and needed a friend. It was dinnertime and I just blew them off. “He’s a dog, he’s got us,” and I moved on. They didn’t.

In South Bend for the weekend we wandered over to the local mall. And there was a pet store in the mall that sold puppies. “These little dogs are probably all from puppy mills,” I said, standing tall on my soapbox. “People who run puppy mills need to be drawn and quartered” (okay, I didn’t say that; what I did say was far worse). We all agreed that puppy mills are the devil’s work but then we saw a little black schnauzer puppy as big as my hand. We knew he was going to be prone to illness, he probably wouldn’t live as long as a dog we could get from a reputable breeder, but hey, he needed someone to love him, too. That day we adopted Zack. And he was an awesome dog. Never disobeyed, messed in the house or failed to show us affection. He did eat Cindy’s homemade pumpkin pies one Thanksgiving, but only because he grew so tall he was easily able to reach them and bring them down to ground level for the dogs to enjoy. Cindy does make great pumpkin pies, so who could blame him?

He got sick about 6 months ago with a heart defect. After lots of trips to the vet, and a bunch of procedures, he seemed to be doing better. But then about 3 weeks ago he started filling with fluid and then had trouble breathing. So we did the humane thing and put him down last Friday. He could barely breathe yet he still wagged his tail when I got home from work that day. I drove him to the vet and sat with him for a while. And maybe it’s because I want to believe it, but I swear he knew why we were there. Any pet owner will tell you that there is nothing harder than deciding when it’s time to say goodbye. So, take care Zack, and thanks for 9 great years. Until we meet again.