I don’t claim to be any sort of psychic or futurist, but you don’t need to have any special abilities to see where this is headed.  

The President of the United States will one day be chosen by the American public via a reality TV show. 

Now, read that again, because I guarantee you it’s going to happen. And you know what? It might not be a bad idea. Think about all the possibilities. The initial “regional” vetting process could feature legitimate candidates mixed in with some real nut jobs much like the opening rounds of Idol. Legitimate candidates nominated by their own respective political parties could be mixed in with that guy who lives alone in a cabin in the woods and the lady who said Jesus appeared on her piece of toast. Entertaining? Absolutely mesmerizing! The entire process could be broadcast by all the networks and a panel of “judges” would decide who goes to the round of 16. I suggest 7 judges from all walks of life. Perhaps a retired Supreme Court Justice, a former Governor, a laid-off factory worker, a cast member from Jersey Shore, a war veteran, Brett Favre and Idol judge Randy Jackson. I can hear him now; “You’re going to D.C. Dawg!!!” 

Once in D.C. the American public would tune in weekly to see our potential future leaders tackle problems presented to them by Donald Trump. Divided into teams, which are comprised of mixed political party candidates, they would need to work as a non-partisan unit to come up with legitimate solutions to things that plague every day Americans. Unemployment, the environment, dwindling retirement savings, health care, getting the NFL network on my cable, problems we all face. At the end of the week they present their solutions to a panel of experts to see if their solution is actually workable. The American public votes on their favorite solution by calling a 1-900 phone number and each call (vote) costs one dollar. That’s right, the rich can vote as many times as they like, and the poor may only be able to afford one vote, if at all. Yes, it’s unfair and unethical, but what about real politics is fair and ethical? The money that’s raised would all go to eradicating the enormous debt that America has taken on. If, by chance, we eliminate all of our debt, then all proceeds go a nationwide 401k account to be divided equally among all legal citizens once they reach retirement age. You’ve heard of the Roth IRA? I would call this the Robin Hood annuity. 

Then, each week, just like Apprentice, two members of the last place team are nominated for the Board Room. Whoever receives the fewest number of votes from the American public gets to hear Trump say, “You’ve been fired by America!” One by one America gets rid of unqualified, or maybe just unpopular, candidates. We get to see if these future “Presidents” can really work with all political parties to do what’s best for the country. After all, isn’t a major portion of our President’s agenda comprised of problem solving? This process would also afford reality TV obsessed Americans the chance to actually pay attention to, and more fully understand, the issues our country is facing.  

Once we get down to the finale, it’s “Election Tuesday”. You think Super Bowl Sunday is huge? Just wait until the every 4 year, national holiday, worldwide TV special, “Election Tuesday!” Hours of pre-show coverage, specially produced TV commercials (think Clydesdales at the National Mall), interviews with eliminated candidates, and so much more!  

The evening would be hosted by Alex Trebek, Ryan Seacrest, Tom Bergeron and Guy Fieri. The show kicks off with our finalists announcing who they have chosen for their new cabinet. Then, along with their newly announced cabinet, our candidates will have one hour to tackle a problem Iron Chef style. The same problem is presented to both teams, and a mystery issue is then introduced. After one hour, the respective teams explain their resolution to said problem.  

Part two features Alex Trebek with Final Jeopardy. Categories could include; American History, World History, Geography, TARP or Tweet, and Things World Leaders Need to Know. Finally, we toss it to Tom Bergeron for the last hour for Dancing with the President!  Judges Bruno, Len and Carrie Ann could critique our future President and then it’s up to Americans to decide. This whole process would allow us to choose a knowledgeable, bi-partisan leader who’s quick on his/her feet, literally and figuratively. Miss the big show? That’s what Digital Video Recorders (DVR) are for! You can even watch it again, if you’d like.  

We’ll have a week to either log on, dial up or stop by a polling place and vote using our pre-registered voter ID number. I’m sure by then we could figure out a way to use some sort of pre-registered voter ID number ensuring an accurate vote, right? One week later, a winner is announced.  

And wait until you hear about my spin off idea; Extreme Makeover, Congress.

BEFORE I HEAD OFF TO THE GLO SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS:

*How long before Mel Gibson checks into “rehab”? And while it’s impossible to rehab the racist, sexist, anti-Semite out of somebody, he’ll try to convince us that he’s trying.

*So, Bella has a hard time choosing between Jacob and Edward? She sees the good and evil in both of them, and they’re both dangerous to her long term survival. Are we sure this story isn’t a metaphor for politics? As Louis Black says, “Whoever is in office, I want them out!”

*Why don’t MLB teams draft only pitchers? It seems that every year pitching is at a premium while position players are readily available. Draft all pitchers and wait for some to develop, when you have a plethora of good arms, go and get the everyday players you might need.

*Spain scores 8 goals in 7 games and wins the World Cup? That’s all you need to know about how exciting that sport is. I agree with one of our listeners who suggested getting rid of the offside rule to add some excitement. Then again, 3 Billion people watch so I doubt the rest of the world cares what we think.

*The owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers should have hit ‘delete’ instead of ‘send’. That open letter made him sound like Glenn Close in that bunny boiling movie ‘Fatal Attraction’. Dear Ohio, LeBron’s just not that into you.

*Speaking of the NBA, how good is the Milwaukee Bucks roster looking these days? John Hammond is doing an awesome job.

*Is anyone else bothered by the number of late night TV appearances our elected leaders make? Not sure it’s necessary to waste time joking with Leno about the Russian spy scandal when so many other things need taken care of. Maybe that’s just me.

*Who knew Lindsay Lohan had a Mom? It’s true! I saw her wearing a black robe and lecturing Lindsay in a courtroom recently. She was explaining that bad behavior has consequences and then she was doling out the punishment. You know, all the things Lindsay’s biological Mom never did?

*For you smokers, I’ve got a deal. You can smoke all you want, anywhere you want, just back me up when I insist that Wisconsin adopt Georgia’s drunk driving laws. Our laissez-faire attitude regarding drinking and driving has got to end.

Day # 1 of Summerfest and I’m psyched.

But, before I head down to the lakefront for some sun, adult beverages and great music here are…

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM MY OVERLY CAFFEINATED BRAIN…

*Discovery of a 19 pound Asian carp near Lake Michigan confirms the fish have breached an electric barrier…proving how futile it is to put up a barrier and expect illegals to stay away. Plus, those fish were probably born here and therefore should be allowed to stay. What are the other fish afraid of? Well, maybe they’re afraid of being eaten since these carp can grow to 4 feet in length and weigh over 100 pounds. Wonder how they taste with rye bread and cole slaw?

*Did you see the story of the Colorado guy who decided to go and find Bin Laden and take care of business all by himself? They found this Rambo wannabe in the woods of northern Pakistan and they shipped him back to Denver. Two things: how does one get a flight to and then get into Pakistan, and what was his brother (a physician!) thinking when he dropped him off at the airport? It’s not like he was headed to MTV’s Spring Break 2010 in Cancun. Did the good doctor really think this was going to work? Hopefully he’s a bit more thoughtful when it comes to his patients.

*So a masseuse claims that Al Gore assaulted her and then calls him a ‘crazed sex poodle.” I don’t see Al Gore as a poodle.  I have always thought of him as more of a cross between a Weimaraner and a Caucasian Mountain Dog, but that’s just me.

*Wouldn’t it be great if school districts televised a teacher draft? Think about it. We spend all that time worrying about which basketball, football and baseball players our favorite team is going to draft, yet we have no idea which teachers will be hired to help shape our children’s minds.

*Everything is cyclical. And I can’t wait for this famous for being famous cycle to end. Before Jon Gosselin, the Kardashians and Paris Hilton you actually had to have some talent, skill, and ability to receive fame and fortune. Think about how many talented people are NOT being seen and heard because Heidi and Spencer need at least 15 MORE minutes…

*My brother-in-law once totaled a car and since he owed more than the Blue Book value, he had to pay the difference out of pocket. Too bad he wasn’t driving an oil rig. Trans Ocean Ltd. owns the rig that BP leased and the Sunday Times reported that they have made a $270 million profit from insurance payouts.The amount was made because its insurance policy for Deepwater Horizon was greater than the value of the rig itself. Wonder if they had a deductible?
Now, off to the World’s Greatest Music Festival and People Watching Spectacle…

Okay, listen up. Today marks 30 years that Cindy and I have been married. And while I don’t profess to be any sort of expert, we have stayed together longer than most couples ever will. Despite the fact that I have been asked many times, I have never articulated “Dave’s Rules for Married Guys.” That is, until now. So, looking back, here are the things I would advise any young, married guy. Note that I wrote married guy. I’m sure Cindy’s list would be way different than mine but because she’s female, she won’t ever write them down. That’s how they get you ;~)

“Dave’s Rules for Married Guys”

*All the obvious stuff, but I’ll write it down: Treat her with respect, love and kindness. And don’t cheat on her. Oh yeah, don’t play 36 holes on a Saturday. No matter how nice the weather is. Unless she’s playing with you…but if she is, you’ll only want to play 18, anyway…

*Never keep the TV on when she’s telling you a story. Even when muted, you will not be able to stop watching the game.

*Always fight fair and remember: Being Happy is More Important than Being Right.

*DO NOT LIE. We are guys. Therefore, we will forget what we said. She will not.

*Eventually, all the stuff you once proudly displayed will end up in a closet or in the basement. She doesn’t care about showing off your autographed Packer helmet. Trust me, unless Michael’s has a cool dead-stick and flower wall hanging that will discreetly hide your memorabilia, it won’t see the light of day.

*Create your own space in the home where you can escape. This man cave can include anything from a workbench to a TV/DVD to PS3. Whatever makes you happy, which leads me to…

*Whatever you have to get done around the house, do it a.s.a.p. This will allow you more time to hang out in the man cave.

*No matter what, save money for a rainy day. Having said that, don’t get angry when she buys something you consider unimportant. She can always ask you why you need 2 complete sets of Callaway irons, or why you needed to buy a new hunting rifle since you already own 2 of them….

*Have a plan. No wife wants to hear, “I don’t know, where would you like to go Friday night?”

*Pay attention to subtleties. Women are far deeper and more complex than us guys. Let’s face it; if it were left up to us we’d spend most of our life watching sports on TV, golfing, napping, eating and erasing the History on our computer. Your wife will not come out and say “Can you please clean the garage Saturday since 5 weekends ago you swore you would do it and you keep putting it off.” Instead, she’ll say, “Can a power washer be used on concrete?” See how that works?

Wives are also subtle when hinting around at gift ideas. While we like direct requests such as, “For our next big anniversary, I’d really love to go on a trip to Playa Del Carmen and stay at the Yucatan Palace and I left the phone number on your desk.” Well, that’s not happening. It will be something like this, “I saw a cute pair of earrings at the mall and if we ever go somewhere warm on vacation, they’d look great.” Long time married guys will recognize that this was actually 2 different gift suggestions, say for a birthday and an anniversary. Earrings and a trip…again, see how that works?

*Finally, and most importantly, remember that you are way over your head. I don’t know your wife, but I’m sure you way over-married. She’s more sensitive, caring and kind than you will ever be.

Now that I’m done with this, I’m heading to the man cave. Fred Miller has a beverage waiting down there for me ;~)

A couple random thoughts from my overly caffeinated brain:

*I LOVE Milwaukee summers, and this summer might be the best one yet. Tom Petty w/ZZ Top, Clapton/ Roger Daltrey and Santana with Steve Winwood and that’s just the start of the amazing lineup at Summerfest. Add in the lakefront, church festivals and the occasional Brewer game and this place rocks the summer. You can have January and February, though.

*I have no solid proof but I suspect that with the advent of Facebook and other social media, kids have to try extra hard to be social outcasts. What I’m saying is that maybe the silver lining to all the texts and tweets is that kids are more connected and feel less alone. And just think about how Twitter could have prevented some of those horrible school tragedies that have become almost common place. Nowadays, I guarantee you that if anyone, at any school, sees something odd or potentially dangerous, everyone will get a tweet.

*I want to preface this next statement by saying that back in the day I used to drive the whole family down to Beloit to see him play when he was with the Beloit Snappers. In fact, the first at-bat I witnessed live, he hit a 400+ foot bomb…but, the Brewers HAVE to trade Prince Fielder for pitching. They’ll get far more for him now than they will in the off-season. And while 30-40 Home Runs and 120+ RBI are hard to replace, pitching wins pennants. I just hope they get a few good, young arms who will call Milwaukee home for a while.

*Me and the fam went strawberry picking on Sunday. They weigh the berries when you get back and charge you by the pound. But since they let you eat some while you’re picking, they really need to weigh the people before and after. I think they lost money on me.

*When putting together the list of morning show bits for the “Best of the Best” week coming up next week, I was amazed by how many great comics and big name stars we’ve had on our morning show. I figured we must have some decent stuff over the years or we wouldn’t have lasted this long, but it is a pretty cool list.

Vote now by clicking here: 

 http://wklh.com/Best-of-the-Best-of-Dave-and-Carole/7388051

 Leroy ‘Satchel’ Paige was a legendary baseball player in the old Negro League who is perhaps best known for saying: “Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you.”  

Well, anyone who knows me well knows that I don’t spend a whole lot of time looking back. Like most of you, my life is far too hectic on a day to day basis to pause and reflect. I’m just trying to keep up.

However, in a little more than a month, June 21^st, Cindy and I will be celebrating a milestone anniversary. To commemorate this occasion, I spent hour after hour scanning photos and uploading them to Shutterfly.com. It was truly a labor of love, and the finished product is a photo diary of the past three decades. It’s over 90 pages, with up to six photos on each page, essentially a chronological look at our lives through pictures. 

Rarely do you sit down and spend hours looking back at so many different moments of your life. I would highly recommend that you do it. You don’t need to put it all in one book, just take a moment and take a look back. It’s impossible to catalogue all the emotions that you’ll feel. I felt sad as I saw pictures of my Dad, who’s been gone for 22 years now. I laughed out loud at the pictures of Cindy and me dressed up for Halloween parties and I sat amazed and stared at myself with dark brown hair and a beard that was as black as night. Man, I’m getting old. But the photos that truly stirred my soul were the ones of our children. Knowing what fine young adults they’ve become only allowed me to relish these pictures even more. Fleeting moments captured on film that mean very little at the time, turn out to mean very much years later. From Little League games to dance recitals to trips to Disney, all families live moments like these. Well, almost all families. 

See, as I was putting this book together, I came across a treasure trove of pictures from the first couple of Miracle Marathons back in 1998 and 1999. What struck me was how many of those little ones have since passed on. I slowly flipped through those pictures and looked closely at their smiling faces. I can still hear them and I can still remember some of the things they told us. I can remember one little boy comforting his own Mom as she cried while describing what he was going through. Then, it hit me. How cruel life can be. Here I was, looking back fondly and reminiscing about all those great memories. Memories that, with God’s grace, we continue to make. But life has not been as kind to everyone.  

I can’t imagine the pain that losing a child brings. To know that you can never make any new memories with those precious little ones who have passed on. And how about all those parents who deal with catastrophic injuries or congenital defects? The sadness in knowing that no matter how hard you try, you can’t fix it. It’s impossible to understand what families that frequent Children’s Hospital must go through. 

But one group does understand. The compassionate and dedicated caregivers at Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin provide a level of expertise and emotional support that is beyond compare. They have dedicated their lives to making life better for sick children and their families. And the Miracle Marathon helps them do that. Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin’s biggest fund raiser each and every year is the ‘Dave & Carole Miracle Marathon’ on ‘KLH. This year our 60 hour radio-thon starts on May 26^th and runs through May 28^th.  So take a moment and reflect on all those memories you have made with your family. And don’t ever take that for granted, because in the words of Satchel Paige, “something might be gaining on you.” 

Please take a moment and become a member of the Miracle Club. It’s one of the few chances you’ll ever have to truly make a difference. 

https://www.chw.org/display/PPF/DocID/43852/Nav/0/router.asp

With Mother’s Day fast approaching, I wanted to take a moment and pay homage to all you wonderful Moms out there. My Mom is a 4′11″ full blooded Italian who never misses a beat. She worked full time at a large high school in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania until she was 80 years old. When I was in high school, and I would go out with friends at night, she would sleep on my bed until I got home. That way, I had to wake her up so I could go to sleep. Better for a Mom to check on the condition of her teenage son, don’t you think? She kept me on the straight and narrow, or at least close to it, and without her support I don’t know that I ever could have convinced my Dad that I could actually make a living by talking on the radio. And I needed his support, since I was flat broke. As for the amazing mother of my children, well, when folks ask me how we raised 3 successful, well educated kids my standard response is, “Cindy did a GREAT job!” And I mean it.

Some of my earliest memories were the car rides I took with my Mom. Bouncing around on the front seat, holding on tight when she hit the brakes. Sort of like my schnauzers do when we go for a drive. Car seats, what car seats? They weren’t invented. Back when we were born, Moms held the new baby on their laps while Dad drove home from the hospital.

Ask any Mom who had kids in the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and even the early 80’s, what they remember and you’ll laugh at the answers. When I was born it was standard practice for all Moms to be knocked out for the delivery. As for Dad, well, let’s just say that not only was he not in the delivery room but many times our Dads weren’t even in the building. Yep, they were at work.

Is your baby teething? Rub some whiskey on their gums like our Moms did. Most of us from the 50’s thru the 70’s weren’t breastfed, either. It was considered sort of primitive and, obviously, the big food conglomerates knew what formula babies really needed, right? They always have our best interests at heart. Yeah, right. And our kids want to know what’s wrong with us??!!

Moms nowadays use Twitter, Facebook, and their Smartphones to stay in touch with their kids and with each other. Now, pregnant women stay away from sushi, caffeine and hair dye. Back then a whiskey sour and a Kool were considered great ways for pregnant women to relax.

But despite the changing social norms and amazing advances in medical knowledge, one thing remains constant. No one affects your life more than your Mom. Her unconditional love and support can help you reach whatever goals you hold. Then again, she can also be the reason that you have a standing appointment with a therapist. Either way, there’s no one like Mom.

I can’t believe that I might actually stoop to this, but I’m thinking about dumping myself. I am seriously considering deactivating my personal Facebook account. Yep, I just might “unfriend” myself. (fyi ‘unfriend’ was the Oxford word of the year in 2009)

So why would I consider doing something so radical? I must admit to the almost 700 of you who are my FB ‘friends’ that I have been neglecting you. I have let my entourage down. I take full responsibility.

 It’s not you, it’s me.

I just haven’t had the energy lately to keep you all in the loop. See, I have this radio show on WKLH and ‘KLH has its own Facebook page with thousands of fans. I try to update that site as often as I can. I’m not saying that the grass is greener on the ‘KLH page, but once I’m done updating our portion of the radio station page, doing my high torque radio show, writing blogs, answering e mails, going to meetings, well, I just don’t have much left for you. I’ll feel a lot better if I can come clean to all of you.

I have gone places and I haven’t told you. Remember the Brewers home opener against Colorado? Yep, I was there. The Bucks games against the Lakers, Cavaliers and Celtics? I was right up front. That awesome concert you were thinking about attending? I was there, too. I have been playing golf, going on long walks, washing my truck, going to movies, playing with my dogs, riding on my John Deere (with my green Deere hat on) and I never once let any of you know.

What? You’ve done stuff, too? And you didn’t let me know? You’ve visited other radio station’s web sites and Facebook pages? You’ve listened around on me? That makes us even, doesn’t it? So let’s let bygones be bygones.

I mean this doesn’t have to end like Tiger & Elin or Ben & the Steelers, does it?

Let’s agree that what’s in the past is in the past and I’ll agree to stay on Facebook if you’ll stay my friend. Of course I’ll try to keep you updated on my life.

Glad that’s over. Now, I’ve got to get going. What do you mean, where?

Some of the best teams, in or out of football, don’t look like much on paper. But sometimes teams get lucky and, despite the critics, find that winning chemistry.

As Mr. Angry used to say, here are a few things that have been ‘grinding my beans’…

It should be the N.R.L. not the NBA. That would be ‘The National Referee League’. Whoever they want to win, will win. My friend Max has amazing Bucks tickets. He sits courtside, I mean literally on the court. From time to time he invites me to join him and over the past couple years I have seen the Bucks play the Spurs, Lakers, Nuggets, Cavaliers and Celtics from just a few feet away. And I am amazed, that even after all the NBA has dealt with lately, the refs still suck. And, it’s so blatant! When you get to see it up close it’s downright infuriating. David Stern needs to come up with a better system or a new rule book. At least take us out to dinner before your refs do that to us. Hey, I know, when the ‘not so special’ teams play those that have been ‘blessed’ how about awarding them 5 extra personals before the ‘sacred’ team gets to go to the line?? Or, maybe let us play with an extra player? Maybe that’ll make up for the 8 we’re already playing against.

Next, let’s talk golf. I went to a public course on Master’s Sunday and I set up the tee time so that I could watch the last hour of the CBS coverage from Augusta. That was a huge mistake ‘cause the course was more than slow. It was like I-94 when there’s been an accident and there’s a Brewers game, Bucks game and Summerfest going on, all at the same time. Plus, the guy ahead of us decided to give his wife lessons on pitching and putting on just about every hole. Dude, I saw you hit 2 shots in the drink, lose a dozen balls in the woods and you’re giving lessons??!! Seriously??!! Then, there’s the idiot who decides to take his ball retriever out of his bag and use it any time he sees water. Even when it’s wide open in front of him and he could speed it up a bit. The upside is that I got to hang out with my son, in the sun, for a bit longer. Plus, we got to order from the cart girl an extra time or two, and my DVR recorded Lefty’s big win, so all is good.

Finally, I heard a local AM station last week complaining that there’s too much classic rock on the Marcus stage this year at Smiley Fest. The fact that he was only filling in doesn’t excuse his ignorance. He actually said something like “Aren’t we finished with this yet? Who is going to buy the tickets? Can’t we move on?” Let’s review; Tom Petty with ZZ Top for 2 nights, Eric Clapton with Roger Daltrey, and Carlos Santana with Steve Winwood. A lineup rife with Rock & Roll Hall of Famers who collectively have sold hundreds of millions of albums, some played Woodstock, some entertained for Super Bowl halftime shows and this idiot wanted to know why we can’t “move on.”

Maybe he’s just mad Lady Gaga isn’t coming until fall?

Thanks. I feel better now.