Sunday afternoon and after a rainy morning the sun starts shining. I’m working in the garage and my wife comes out and says she’s going to run some errands. Which reminds me that I need to run to the store and stock up on Diet Snapple and 5 hour energy drinks (cut me some slack, I get up at 3 a.m.). So I jump in the car with her and ride shotgun. It’s a beautiful day and with the windows rolled down and the radio cranked we’re on our way.

On the way to the store she stops for gas. Being the chivalrous guy I am, I jump out and pump the gas. So, I go in to pay and when I come out to the car there he stands. A 28ish dude standing on the driver’s side talking to my wife. He’s leaning on the car, smiling, and talking to my wife. He looks up at me and says, “I was just telling her what a nice car she has”. Yeah, sure he was. I shot him my death glare and jumped in and off we went.

Thanks to Demi Moore, Courtney Cox and Eva Longoria’s character on TV, “Cougar Chasing” has apparently become a sort of hobby for the young & horny. Don’t get me wrong. Old guys’ chasing young women has been happening since the Palaeozoic Era. Okay, maybe not that long but you catch my drift. And, while 20-somethings looking for older women has always been around, this cougar thing of the last few years has really kicked it up a few notches. I’ve noticed this at work, at appearances and, now, at my local Mobil station.

Look, I’m proud of my wife and I have always said that older women are far sexier. They have a self confidence and style that many young girls haven’t quite captured. But honestly, I am 50+ now and I just don’t need this. In the last few years I’ve had to add fiber to my diet, nose hair clippers to my bathroom drawer and a prostate exam to my to-do list.

Does anybody know where I can get some of that Just for Men?

I was sitting in a restaurant with my wife recently and a family with a toddler sat next to us. The little guy must’ve gotten a new toy and when his Mom put it away (so he could focus on eating) he screamed bloody murder. He wanted it RIGHT NOW! She held firm and he quickly forgot and focused on his chicken fingers.

Don’t worry he’s still young and inexperienced. As he grows into an adult, he will no doubt hone his skills and his sense of entitlement will be sharper than ever. He won’t quit whining until he gets what he wants. He’ll complain that life just isn’t fair and he’s being treated improperly. And he won’t be alone.

Have you noticed lately that this sense of entitlement thing is out of control?  You don’t have to look very hard to find examples. Athletes are great at it. Tiger Woods has it, Big Ben allegedly has it, and Antonio Cromartie is the latest ‘7 kids to 6 women in 5 states’ athlete to have it.

Want an example of entitlement in the workplace? How about those people who believe that the sick days allotted to them by their employer are actually vacation days to be used whenever they please? Want more?

Recently, during a Judge Gino segment on ‘KLH, a guy wrote in to tell us the story of his 20-something son who has no intention of paying off his school loan… that Dad co-signed for! When Dad confronts him he says “Just don’t pay it and declare bankruptcy”. Hey, he’s entitled to a free education, right?  Dad kicked him out, but there’s that little matter of his good credit rating and Dad wants to keep that. So he does the honorable thing and admits that he shouldn’t have co-signed and he pays. Guess Dad just assumed that the disease of entitlement wouldn’t rear its ugly head in his own home. But, it’s everywhere.

And why shouldn’t it be? When our government passes an emergency plan to spend 10 BILLION dollars, and part of that plan includes getting satellite TV to rural America, we shouldn’t be surprised that our country is ‘infected’. I’m not saying all our tax money is wasted, but there is NO WAY that some of these entitlements are absolutely necessary. I’ve heard the commercial: Need a free cell phone? Just call! My question, though, is what phone are you using to call? But, I digress.

What happened to the kids of the Greatest Generation? How did we get so soft? Did we learn nothing from the stories our parents and grandparents told us about the Great Depression? Did we not understand that there is honor in working hard and doing an honest day’s work? Boomers, to a large degree, failed to pass on the steely determination and iron-will that our grandparents and parents taught us. Somewhere along the line we decided that everyone should get a ribbon and a gold star and equal playing time. That turned into everyone should get satellite TV and a cell phone.

And if you think I’m generalizing, well, OF COURSE I AM. There are exceptions to every rule so don’t write me and complain. Or, as my Grandpa used to say, “Quit whining and grow a pair”.

I think that pretty much sums it up, don’t you?

 A couple of months ago I was contacted by ‘M’ Magazine about doing a photo shoot with our 3 dogs. It was explained to me that the issue would feature local celebs (like Ted Perry from Fox 6) and their dogs. In addition, the issue would be all about guys. Now, you have to understand that Cindy and I have 3 Schnauzers and while they’re pretty smart, they’re also full of energy. Way too much energy. And I can’t even begin to tell you how excited they get when they get company. But I agreed to do it and we immediately made an appointment to get hair cuts. Didn’t want them looking nasty for their big photo op. Well, personally I didn’t care, but my lovely bride did.

So ‘M’ Magazine sent me a questionnaire to fill out and then came over to take pictures. Well, Cindy took all three on a long walk (and it was cold) and by the time the photographer and staff showed up, it was all we could do to just keep them from napping. One word to sum up their behavior that day: awesome. In the western ‘burbs, me, Zack, Cosmo and Rocky made the cover. And the picture of meinside the dog crate with all 3 of them made it into the article. I’ve pasted the inside picture for you to see and I have also come up with a list of;

THE TOP 10 THINGS MY DOGS HAVE TAUGHT ME

*Defend your family at all costs

*Take naps as often as you can

*The best things in life are absolutely free

*Everyone you meet is a potential best friend

*No matter what the weather is like, it’s fun to play ball

*Exercise is fun and something to get excited about

*Sometimes we all just feel like barking. But it’s never okay to bite.

*Never admit to cutting the cheese…especially if it’s nasty and has good hang time

*Sometimes, it’s impossible to understand what people are saying, even when they’re speaking English

*When someone is sad, lick their face (use this at your own discretion ;~)

I found my old high school yearbook the other day. I can’t tell you how happy I am that we had no social networking back then. Usually, your yearbook is the only record of how awful we looked and how goofy we all were (are?). With that in mind, I’ve come up with a list of Facebook status updates that most certainly would have been a part of Facebook had it been around back then (if COMPUTERS had been around back then…) I have combined some of the words and phrases that my classmates used in signing my yearbook with some of the common things we used to say. These are flat out embarrassing to read and even funnier to say. Feel free to add your own.