A couple of days ago, Steve Martin wrote this piece in The New Yorker. Check out the link, too.

Steve Martin: My Attempt at Moonwalking

This will make you laugh out loud. Mom said “No More World of Warcraft” and he freaks out;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YersIyzsOpc

Okay, let me get a little philosophical on you. See, I just returned from a funeral. It’s the second one in just a few weeks for me and, as expected, it was very sad. Death has been everywhere lately. Just turn on the news and you’ll see car accidents, motorcycle accidents, and how about all those celebrities dying?

From Ed McMahon to Farrah to Michael Jackson to Billy Mays, even Fred Travelina. So, what’s my point? It’s time to focus on what’s important. Take nothing for granted. Treat each day like it’s your last, because it may be. Tell the people you love how you feel and appreciate what God has given you. Give back, don’t be afraid to show some kindness, work hard and stop sitting around and watching reality TV. Instead of watching other people live their lives, get off the couch and participate in your own.

If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, go for it. So, be positive, be at peace, and enjoy your life. Remember that life is precious. In fact, according to the “Days Alive” website, today is day #18,531 for me. With any luck, I’ll get another 10 or 12 thousand days. Not much when you put it that way. So, what am I sitting here writing for? I’m gonna go enjoy the rest of the day. You should do that, too.

So, what were you doing when you were eleven years old? Seriously, try to think back to your childhood. What would have happened to you if, at the age of eleven, mobs of people followed you everywhere? How would your life have turned out if your every move was photographed, videotaped and written about? How would you feel if your family was relying on you to be the breadwinner?  While you were still pre-pubescent! I’m not making any excuses for the freak that Michael Jackson became. I’m simply wondering how many of you were actually surprised Michael Jackson even made it to fifty years of age? I was. The list of kids whose talent thrust them into the spotlight at a young age is incredibly long. The list of those kids who grew up without any sort of residual mental baggage is way too short.

The sad part is that his plastic surgery riddled face, his kids hiding behind scarves and his court cases have obscured one basic fact; back in the day he was THE MAN. ‘Thriller’ is still the best selling album of all time. And you know what? There’s a whole generation that knows nothing BUT that freak. They don’t know Eddie Van Halen, Slash, Carlos Santana and other legendary musicians were lining up to collaborate with him.

It’s also a bummer to watch the network news tributes. It’s sad to see how GREAT he WAS, to see him as a kid having fun and singing his ass off. Then they show THE FREAK he became. Here’s hoping that his children saw a different side of him and that they have some good memories to hold onto. I’m also hoping Jon and Kate, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Mr. and Mrs. Jonas are watching these tributes to Michael Jackson.  Because they show that talent and fame can last awhile, but emotional scars last a lifetime.

Summer is finally here! And with all the kids out of school it’s a good idea to be extra cautious when you drive anywhere near a park, or a playground, an open field, or even your local street.

What’s that, you say? You have driven by all those places and you haven’t seen many kids there? Not outside playing, getting some fresh air, swimming or playing wiffle ball? Not even one on a bicycle, scooter, or skateboard?

Want to know why? It’s because parents have become afraid of raising free-range kids. My guess is that you were raised as a free-range kid. You were the kind of kid who rode your bicycle by yourself to the store, or played outside all day until it was dark or rode the bus to your Grandma’s house by yourself. And you lived to tell the tale.

Have you heard about a woman named Lenore Skenazy? Lenore is from New York City and she did something that left her open to severe criticism. She gave her 9-year-old son a Metro-Card, a subway map, a $20 bill and some quarters for pay phones. Then she let him make his own way home from Bloomingdale’s– by subway and bus.  She wrote about the experience for the The New York Sun and was brutalized by parents far and wide. She has been called the worst mother in the world on more than one occasion.

Lenore has a website for parents looking for tips on how to raise a free-range kid: http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/your-childhood/

She balks at critics who claim that crime has decreased because parents are keeping their kids inside. From her website, “The fact is that ALL crime is down since the early ‘90s, not just crimes against children. So it’s not that children are safer because we’re keeping them inside, it’s that the United States is safer, period”.

I don’t agree with all the suggestions she, or her readers, dish out. But I like the idea of working to get parents to buy into the idea that unstructured play is good for kids’ psyche. By the way, I am not advocating sending a 9 year old on an unescorted trip through New York City. I am advocating taking away the video games and unplugging the TV. A new survey states that 96 percent of parents believe playing outside is critical to keep kids physically fit, but just 17 percent thought children played enough outside. Still another survey indicated that childhood obesity is an epidemic in America.

According to a free range poultry website, “Access to fresh air and daylight means better eye and respiratory health. They are able to exercise and exhibit natural behavior resulting in stronger, healthier legs.” If it can do that for chickens…

The headline in today’s Drudge Report screams;

“ABC TURNS PROGRAMMING OVER TO OBAMA; NEWS TO BE ANCHORED FROM INSIDE WHITE HOUSE”

 The article goes on to say, “On the night of June 24, the media and government become one, when ABC turns its programming over to President Obama and White House officials to push government run health care — a move that has ignited an ethical firestorm! Highlights on the agenda: ABCNEWS anchor Charlie Gibson will deliver WORLD NEWS from the Blue Room of the White House. The network plans a primetime special — ‘Prescription for America’ — originating from the East Room, exclude opposing voices on the debate.”

I will admit up front that I believe everyone should have access to affordable health care. I will also admit that I’m not smart enough to know whether the President’s plan is worth endorsing. What I would like, though, is a chance to make up my own mind. I plan on doing that anyway, but I’m afraid that a whole bunch of folks will watch this TV special and digest it all before chewing on it for a while.

There was a time when the press had a responsibility to present all sides of an issue. Being a journalist meant that you were given the trust of the public. We, the citizens, relied upon the news media to give us unbiased news thus allowing us to form our own opinions. In 2009, however, no such animal exists. Fox News shouts from the right, MSNBC yells from the left and a whole bunch of networks try and pretend they are approaching from the middle. But they lie. It’s all about ratings. Follow the money? Indeed. If integrity is compromised for a few more shares, so be it.

We have become a culture obsessed by the likes of Jon & Kate, Danny Gokey, and the Letterman/Palin feud. Unfortunately, networks are vying for your eyes and ears in the midst of reality TV noise, not to mention Facebook and Twitter. They need you and will stop at nothing to get you to pay attention.

So, what can the average, hard working, tax paying citizen do? My suggestion is to turn off the noise and do a little research, and not just on the health care proposal. It’s important to realize that real life issues that affect our kids and grandkids need our attention. Don’t worry, Jon & Kate will be fine without you.

So there you are sitting at work just wishing you had a time machine to get you to quittin’ time. You can’t wait to leave and you’ve already checked every one of your bookmarked web sites a half dozen times. I can’t help you with that time machine, but I can provide you with some links that will help kill a little more of your monotonous day.

First up, let’s meet Jay-soldier and coffee cup drummer extraordinaire

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGMjpYTG0Q

Next, it’s the VOCA People. An a cappella group dressed in white from head to toe and they are pretty amazing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfjXd3nIedE

Computer geekdom has reached a whole new level. This guy decided to plug in all of his old computer equipment-printers, modems, etc. and he used each machine’s unique sound to re-create Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Warning…this can get annoying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ht96HJ01SE4

Have you seen the popular Youtube series “Auto-Tune the News?” Somehow, this pitch correcting machine which is used for singers, makes the news so much more interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGhsbRb_pqE

My final link will help you kill time AND save you some cash. Check this one out and happy shopping!

http://print.coupons.com/couponweb/Offers.aspx?pid=13306&zid=iq37&nid=10&bid=alk0609080659849956e326211

It’s June and that means that soon we’ll all be out and about and socializing. At places like church festivals, music festivals, graduation parties and wedding receptions we’ll run into folks we haven’t seen in a while. In many cases, we’ll be forced to do the “stop and chat” with neighbors, co-workers, acquaintances and distant relatives. Some of these encounters can be enlightening (like uncovering a long held family secret or some neighborhood gossip) but, for the most part, they’re pretty uncomfortable.

The biggest problem, aside from trying to remember their names, is what to talk about. The topics of work and family only take you so far. “How are the kids?” “Fine”. “How’s work?” “Kind of slow.”

Where to go from there? We all know that politics and religion are taboo. And “I saw a UFO last week” is not an appropriate icebreaker.  Likewise, “My psychiatrist says my new meds are helping my anger problems” is verboten.

Fear not, ‘cause I am here to help. Based on feedback from the vast Morning ‘KLH audience I have taken the liberty of compiling a list of pop-culture and sports topics that will smooth out any awkward situation you may encounter. Now remember, just like the Dow Jones Industrials, this list is fluid and ever changing based on “market conditions.”

Since many of you have jobs, kids, and hectic lives, you may have no idea about any of these shows/people. For you, I have included a suggested “point of view” that is sure to stimulate more talk. Now, read the list, memorize your “take” and enjoy your summer!

TOP TEN TRIVIAL TALK TOPICS WITH SUGGESTED STARTER LINES

1. John and Kate + 8 “She’s a real witch and he got married way

too young. I just feel sorry for those kids”

2. Nadya Suleman “Isn’t that the Octomom? She’s crazy! Did you

see that video of her slamming Kate (see above)?

3. Danny Gokey “What a great guy. I think all of his fans voted

for Kris”. “Did you hear he’s a Cubs fan?”

4. Susan Boyle “She’s a great singer but I don’t think she knew

what fame can do to a person. Did you know she was invited to sing for Obama?”

5. How about those Brewers? “Do you think the pitching will hold

up?”

6. Brett Favre “Do you really think he’s retired?” Or “How do you

think he’ll look wearing purple and white?”

7. Oprah “I’d sure like to be in the audience when she gives away

her favorite things”

8. Facebook “My kids hate that I’m on Facebook” or “My

daughter’s my Facebook friend!”

9. Twitter “I’m not on Twitter. Who cares what I had for lunch?”

10. “Well, looks like I need another beer” The all time

best fallback subject when it’s time to end the “stop and chat.”